By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
