the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
