Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
