i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
