I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
