She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
