my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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