your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
