porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
