Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize