it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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