Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
