so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
