Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
