Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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