I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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