You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
