The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
