you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
