Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
