but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
