You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your cock deserves a montage
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize