Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
