so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
