I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
