she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
