I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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