I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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