I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
