he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
