life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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