he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
