The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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