giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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