Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So much Jack, so little girl.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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