I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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