I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
