You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
