Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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