dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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