I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
