im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
