I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize