My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
