Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
