i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
