it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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