redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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