and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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