i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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