Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
