It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
