Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
