did you get engaged???
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize