I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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