Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
