there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
