i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
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