He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
