This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
