There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
