perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
