He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
