youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
