the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You were trust falling into bushes
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize